The Interuptions

I have always been intrigued by the saying, "Life is what happens in the interuptions when you are waiting for life." I might have that wrong, but the thought is, that whatever you are hoping life to be, is really not what life is...life is the interuptions. I am in a season of life that I just have not wanted to be in. I expected that I would be a stay at home mom, possibly with a baby on the way, and with my husband in a full time job, but that is not our life. Life is good though! Only good because of all the amazing things God gives me everyday. I am not trying to sugarcoat how hard it is to accept what is right now, but it's the truth. God is in today. If my focus becomes what I expect of tomorrow then I only long for my "what if" or "if only". I am finding myself in the inbetween wondering what do I really long for, what are my true desires. Do I dare desire them? Am I focused on the right thing? Or is there even a right or wrong about my focus? My husband and I had a great conversation with friends tonight about that very thing. Is what we desire or want merely whisked away because it is a "right or wrong" desire...or do those desires never come to be because they are "right or wrong"? It's a good question to ask. As put my our friend, if our desires are not right or wrong what do we do with them. I hardly say that answer is simple. I know, without any doubt that it is okay and even designed in us to want. If we didn't have any desire, then what would woe us to our maker. Is the ache within us just a symptom of what God is longing to fill? I think yes. What we do with our desire is meant to lead us to a deeper passion for Him, and after we are filled I am still sure there are things we will want, but the desire to have those "things" will not be as great.

 So, do I give up on my longings? No...I give all...my feelings, my wants, my desires, my pain, my hurt, my frustrations, and my heart's cry up to my God. Then even when the question of "if" or "how" isn't answered, at least my question of desire will be.