Carefully laid out plans

Last week I just came back from a ladies conference that I spoke at with my friend Taffy, based on the book, "Captivating" by John and Stassi Eldridge. This book, and more importantly, the conference has changed the lives of many women across the globe. So, when Taffy asked me, "Do you want to help me lead a conference?" I had to stop in my tracks and ask myself, "Is God leading me here?" After a few weeks of prayer, God said yes, and I began a journey that would be worth the fight to see the end result. It was not an easy battle. You see, the enemy does not want women to be free from their wounds, and see a glimpse of how God truly see them, or even have the tools to fight off the lies of the enemy. So, me and Taffy were hit hard, by the lies ourself. "You can do this, you are too proud, you are not good enough, you don't know what you are talking about, they aren't going to like you, you aren't even a speaker, this is going to mess up your family, you might lose friends in doing this..." and on and on the lies went. But, we soldered on. God brought us again back to our own journeys, and showed us where we still needed to grow in our faith, and in our relationship. He loved on us, He reminded us of our true character, and how He created us. He healed more wounds, and He prepared us for the weekend that I will never forget. Taffy picked me up at 10am at the airport and we rushed back to her place to finish up loading our "essetials". But, little to our knowledge, she grabbed the wrong computer...with all the media we can carefully and prayerfully planned out. LORD! We need a computer fast! He delivered. As I prayed in each cabin room He started to reveal the hearts of the beautiful women that were soon to arrive. My heart broke, but I was amazed at how He was already preparing me to pray for them. It was a mad scrabble before the first meeting of that day, but by 3:30p Taffy started on her first message, The Heart of a Women. I could see some of the women resistant (I am sure fighting some of the lies we had in the coming weeks). I sensed a desire, so want more, that they were fed up of how things were, and fear of if God was really going to show up, and somewhat of a hopelessness. But, God was there, and all through the weekend He continued to show us, "I've got it". He had us, He had them, He carried us all. As the weekend unfolded, our "perfect plan" was changed, added too, switched around, to become God's perfectly laid out plan. The women opened up, they started to trust, they brought their pain and their tears and their fears to God, and I was overwhelmed by God's power and His blessings. I left that retreat not only in a state of utter amazement for the God of the universe, but also with 15 new strings of friends attached to my heart. As I was driven out to the airport by 2 of my new friends, I didn't want to leave. God brought us close together, and Taffy and I couldn't believe that He brought us through this journey to be blessed beyond our belief. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emYGrVrCv-g&feature=share&list=PLCA3DFA985FA05020

Are you ready to fight where you are called?

Joshua led the battle of Jericho. Now, if you are like me, growing up in the church, you will be humming that song before you even begin to read this. For those of you who did not, or maybe your church omitted this catchy tune, let me enlighten you. "Joshua let the battle of Jericho, Jericho, Jericho, Joshua let the battle of Jericho, and the walls came tumbling down!" There is so much in these passages, and I am finding myself more excited as I read on to the next chapter, even though I know how the story ends, or maybe because I do know how the story ends. I am facinated at the amount of redemption, even before they are ready to go out and fight. As I am have been preparing to speak at Captivating-I will not Be Moved conference, I have been asking God to lead me, in prayer, in decisions about the details, in guidance in the messages, and how to pray for the women who will be coming to open up their hearts to healing and a closer beautiful relationship to Him. Just yesterday I asked where I should be reading His word. I never know where to start, and I know His Word, but most often I know a paraphrase, or the scripture without the reference. So, this week I was happy to find God leading me to Joshua. His redemption is amazing. He blesses Joshua as the new leader, where the people will follow as they did Moses (even amidst their sin) He brings provision to the army, by providing them with a safe place in Rahab's place while they spy out the land, he gives them fresh produce from the land before He removes the mana. Rahab was given a second chance at life, and later in the scriptures she was called one who follows after God. She knew her redemption, and she turned her life around and praised the one who saved her. Often when I am facing a battle, I don't believe I am strong enough, but I forget that I don't have to be, because the one who gives me strength will also give me wings like an eagle to soar above the war zone. He will keep me safe, and He will armor me for anything that I have to face. I once heard from Beth Moore, a favorite author of mine, "If God isn't going to get you over this mountain, He's going to find you a way to get through it!" So, where are you packing your sticks of dynamite. If they are in God's hands, you have nothing to worry about.

My Gramma Pearl

I sit and reflect on my Grandmother of 92 years she sits in a hospital bed awaiting the decisions of her final days in this world, as many or as few as they may be. My grandmother has never been a "sitting" woman until these recent days. I look back on her bustling life, full of life and energy, spunk and laughter. She was a woman, who in her day was one of the few that decided to get an education and become a nurse, unlike some "lady-like" girls she played floor hockey, and married a handsome man in the the military. But, this is not the woman I grew up knowing, even though this was very much a part of her. She always had her hair neatly done, she loved cooking in the kitchen, and got her nails done every few weeks...like the other "ladies" did. But, my grandmother was more than this. I loved her passion in the kitchen. I remember many a day where she would be cooking a thanksgiving dinner and preparing as she called, the padadas (potatoes), and I would giggle and mock her until she said emphatically, "SPUDS!". But, she was always a good sport at being teased, even by her husband who would chase her around the house for a kiss. She would bat at him and tell him to act his age (no matter what that age was). But, all the while she was giggling with delight, because he loved her, and she loved it. We loved working along side her, especially us grandaughters, peeling apples for her famous apple pie that she still mastered up until just a few years ago when her sight was failing her and her legs were just too sore to stand. But, un until then she wouldn't sit. She would say, "Oh, I'm fine" when we would tell her we can clean up the kitchen. After all, she nearly prepared the dinner single handedly. I also admired her love for God, and for His word. She kept her "daily bread" box full of scriptures next to the breakfast table to read for the day. I loved reaching for the plastic bread container to pick the scripture for the day while looking out of their Singing Sands Rd. home out onto the ocean bay. Open Bibles, honey/peanut butter/jam container and oatmeal mornings sitting with my grandparents I felt full of love and sweetness. It was in my grandparents home that I learned to play the piano, the same one that sits in my living room today, where my boys are learning on their own, as I did. I used to watch my Grandmother play, while Grampa played on violin, and we sang along with the hymns that we grew to know as their favorites. Victory in Jesus! That was Gramma's favorites. She is so much more than just a lady, sitting now. She is a hand that has lead those to their own story with God, she was a light in the day of many who had no one and nothing as she sang to those who were not much older than her. She gave of her time and her hand knitting slippers and prayer shawls not just for her kids and grandkids, but for those in hospitals and those close to her heart. She loved huge, and her love will always remain in my heart, just as her gum remained in her purse. You could depend on it, it was always there.

Even though her life has slowed, her memories will continue and I hope to leave a smile on the many, like she has, touching lives, like she has, in the many years she continues to live.

The many gifts of love

Recently I pondered and struggled with the idea of reading the Bible. It's always been a struggle for me, as I have dyslexia. It was interesting to me when I shared with a group of ladies around me that struggled in the same area. Why do we feel the need to all be the same? Why is it that I compete to be the "better" Christian, when God has given me so much. I am different, and I love who I am, but I struggle with who I am not. When I think about it, it's hard to make sense of it. Do I really love who God created? Do I really love His gifts of music and dance that He has uniquely given me? I know I am not like other people, and God speaks to me in ways that others say they wish God would. But, I find myself thinking that I am not good enough, when really it not about how good I am, it's about who I am. I hear God through the trees, through the crackling fire, through dreams, through music, as He moves me into a dance with Him. These are His gifts to me. We all have different gifts. Some people have such a passion for reading God's word, and for those I know who are dear to me, that is how God speaks to them. But, would I trade His love and His whispers, would I trade His embrace in my dreams and my wonders? Not for a day, not for a chance to have what He hasn't given me...because He has given me everything I am.

The big move

Recently, I have been having dreams about moving. I am in a stranger's house, with my family. The owner isn't home, and I start to unpack my stuff. The house is for sale, and I want to give it a try it out before I move in. The only thing, is I didn't ask the owners, and my parents decide to join us. Needless to say, they weren't happy when they returned to find us practically moved in. The funny part is (in real life this would NOT have been funny) it happened 3 times before we evacuated. I left deflated. I knew I really wanted that house, but it just wasn't mine, and I was sure they wouldn't let us buy it then. Strange right?!? The next night, I was packing all sorts of things into my car, and trying to add a kitten in, and was quite concerned with where I would put the litter box. This one wasn't as confusing to me. I really want a cat, but in my already crowded life, it just doesn't fit. My husband and I have even talked about where the litter box should go, and we aren't sure. So, in my curiousity, I decided to google what my dreams meant. It ranged from needing change, to something in my life changing right now. I know that I am in a cycle of my life that isn't the best situation, but I haven't been battling it. I know I do want change, for my husband's business to take off, for us to have another baby, or for us to be foster respite parents, for me to have to opportunity to be more involved in women's ministry, for me to be able to visit my boys in their classrooms and volunteer. But, the real question I think I need to be asking is where is my hearts next big move...where is God calling me to be right now. It's not what I should do, its where I fit in, it's where He will chose to shine my glory. It's not my move, its His.

I do...all over again

I recently celebrated my 10 year anniversary by renewing my vows with my husband. It was a wonderful celebration, and it really meant a great deal for us. This in not only a milestone, this is the first time I have truely understood my vows, and been excited to share them with my husband in our "new found" love. Our marriage hasn't been easy...it's like any other marriage. You have your ups and downs, your power struggles, and your good years and not so good years. The last 3 years have been amazing...far beyond what we had ever imagined. You see, God got a hold of our hearts...He took a genuine interest in healing our wounds. He was waiting to free us, to heal us...to bring us closer together. It started by taking my husbands job away, then giving me a full time job to take care of most of the bills. This was a hard change for both of us...but God has provided. It gave us both a chance to reflect and look back at some of the hard times we've had in our lives...our heart wounds. We expressed this in our vows. Family life was difficult for my husband growing up and his Dad was never there for him. God waited for my husbands heart, and he gave it 20 years ago. God also became his Dad in these last few years. He showed him He is proud of him, He is there for him, He hears him. This has given tremendous healing for my husband, and he continues to grow in his heart and grow in love. I have received the benefits from this love. He stands up for me, he sees my beauty, he cares for my pain. He is learning he has what it takes. Working, when I wanted to be home with my kids, was a difficult transition. Here also, God had a plan. He brought me to a place where I remembered my heart wounds, the accident of my father, and the pain of struggling through school without his support and dealing with my dyslexia alone. God met me there. I realized I had believed all along, that I was alone in that time in my life...but God was right there waiting for me to reach out. I finally did, I finally trusted Him, and my husband benefited from this as well. I didn't expect so much from him...I was fully satified by my God. Every way that my husband had loved before I had missed...now I see it, and he sees how I love him...and we love each other all the more.

So, these vows we told in front of our family and friends meant much more than words. I married my man all over again, and I truely know that in my lover I have found my friend. I would do it all over again.

Two pockets full of peas

Well, gardening season is coming to an end, and I am still hoping for an indian summer. But, some of my plants just won't survive this early Fall. My tomatoes are still small and green with only a few turning orange, and only one of my corn stalks will produce corn...it seems. All in all, I should have planted earlier, but other "life" got in the way. Today I pulled out my peas as I noticed all the new flowers keep shrivelling up after they bloom. A sad thing to say the least, but I pick what's left and reach for the shears to take them down. As I am pulling I notice more and more peas that were waiting to be picked. Just sitting plump and ready to be eaten. Waiting to be chosen. There! All done. I proceed to pile them into a pile, along with all the string that held them to the sun.....and more peas. By this time I knew God was just showing off. Okay, God, I get it...You provide. Even when we feel like it's not going to happen, that God isn't going to come through, He has it all planned out. It's not over, and even amidst something that seems to have no life, He brings fruit...or vegetables...our way. At the end of my duty I had filled my two pockets so full of peas I couldn't bend over any more without crushing them. I walked bulledded into my home with thanks on my heart and a smile on my face.

So, when you feel that all is spent, and there's nothing left to find; check your pockets full of peas and enjoy all His surprises.

This little light?

As I watched the opening ceremonies of the olymics I found myself in awe of the flame, as were over hundreds of thousands in the stands in London and millions glued to their tv sets. Where and how will this flame ignite the others. One by one, each held the flame...the next generation...the great ones to come. Their flames grew from one to several, and kept spreading on to the one great flame and united them all. It was glorious. I couldn't help but think how we all have a light. I remember the song, "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine", and even as I just watched my mother perform singing this amazing little song, she was so much brighter than the light she sang about. Her light, was far from little. She was glowing. We have so much to offer in our hearts. God gave us His light, if we chose Him, and are we shining. Are we spreading His light by being who He has seen is amazing in us? Just like the petals slowing emerged into the sky for the whole world to see, if we put our "little" lights together, and share the light, they will toss their embers to another, and another, and soon the whole world will see...what God already does.

Taking out the trash

I don't know about you, but I don't really like taking out the trash. It's smelly, and when the sun is out that garbage can is swarming with flies, and carries a foul odor. I was just having a talk with some friends about how we keep garbage in our lives. We make mistakes, we are human afterall, and it's hard sometimes to own up to them. But, what if we were to keep hiding the garbage in our homes, instead of getting rid of it. It would be pretty ugly, and there would be no place where we could go without having to deal with the smell. It would become  unliveable. It's the same in our lives, and in our hearts. If we are hiding the garbage of our hearts, our mistakes, then other areas of our life will start to "smell". There won't be any getting away from it. It would follow us everywhere we go. As we clean out the garbage in our lives, and own up to it, we will realize that without it, our lives are sweeter. God's sweet aroma will linger longer, and it will be a great place to be. If we walk around "stinky" we are only creating a smell around others...and they might start to stink too. If we walk around with God's aroma filling the air around us, not only will they smell the sweetness, they will see Him, and want the same fragrance lingering around them. So, what are you waiting for...take out the trash, and set out the bouquet on the table.

A Different Perspective

On a recent family vacation, we were travelling along the Oregon coast, and I had a few moments to myself to ponder as my youngest lay asleep at my lap. I looked out the window from our bus and watched as the trees rushed past me. A warm familiar comfort came back to me as I pondered my love of trees. To me, they are like the voice of God. "I am here, I am strong, , I will protect you, I will shelter you from the storm, light comes through me, and you will not be left in darkness. I am the color of life, I am beauty." I was reminded of possibly why I had such a fondness for trees. My Dad used to go for walks with me, and he loved trees as well. On one particular occasion we lay on the grass looking at the trees from the ground up, and he decided to share a life lesson that never left me. He explained that life can depend on our perspective, we might see it for one thing, while another sees it for something entirely different. When we looked at those trees that warm afternoon I saw life in a different way. Those trees fanned out wide, over me, and I could see how the wind made them dance. Every walk since I take a few moments to stand under one and look up and see it's splendor...God's splendor. When we look at life straight on, we only see one side, we don't see the full picture, the true story.

If we take the time to look from another angle, or keep our eyes looking up, we might be surprised what we find. We might find comfort in what we find. We might find... there's more than only what we see.

The Interuptions

I have always been intrigued by the saying, "Life is what happens in the interuptions when you are waiting for life." I might have that wrong, but the thought is, that whatever you are hoping life to be, is really not what life is...life is the interuptions. I am in a season of life that I just have not wanted to be in. I expected that I would be a stay at home mom, possibly with a baby on the way, and with my husband in a full time job, but that is not our life. Life is good though! Only good because of all the amazing things God gives me everyday. I am not trying to sugarcoat how hard it is to accept what is right now, but it's the truth. God is in today. If my focus becomes what I expect of tomorrow then I only long for my "what if" or "if only". I am finding myself in the inbetween wondering what do I really long for, what are my true desires. Do I dare desire them? Am I focused on the right thing? Or is there even a right or wrong about my focus? My husband and I had a great conversation with friends tonight about that very thing. Is what we desire or want merely whisked away because it is a "right or wrong" desire...or do those desires never come to be because they are "right or wrong"? It's a good question to ask. As put my our friend, if our desires are not right or wrong what do we do with them. I hardly say that answer is simple. I know, without any doubt that it is okay and even designed in us to want. If we didn't have any desire, then what would woe us to our maker. Is the ache within us just a symptom of what God is longing to fill? I think yes. What we do with our desire is meant to lead us to a deeper passion for Him, and after we are filled I am still sure there are things we will want, but the desire to have those "things" will not be as great.

 So, do I give up on my longings? No...I give all...my feelings, my wants, my desires, my pain, my hurt, my frustrations, and my heart's cry up to my God. Then even when the question of "if" or "how" isn't answered, at least my question of desire will be.

God's Sending Angels...on my trip home.

Last week I just returned from a wedding of a dear girlfriend of mine. It felt so sureal to be next to her just days before the big day, and I had never met her fiance. Needless to say, I was a little nervous, but assured by my friend that he was a good man. I concure. The moment I met him and watched his eyes gaze into hers I knew he adored her. We ran around doing errands, but taking the time to soak in the sunshine on her front step and take some moments to let God do some shining too as we gave the day to Him. The rehersal dinner was followed by go karts (which I started out first, and ended up near last...how that happened is beyond me), lazer tag...our team won..go red! I got second place, and another bridesmaid got first. So fun! The day of purple and pink begun, and the wedding day went off without a hitch...okay, they did get hitched, and we did forget the rings and the license at the house, but when all was said and done, they said (and sang) "I do" and became one. I was honored to stand by her and share in it all.

If only my trip home was one of ease and wonder, and full of wonderful surprises. That...it was not...full of surprises...it was. First of all, I missed my plane. The strange part about that, was I was there in plenty of time to make it. All of the Economy, Domestic, and International were on the same line. I joined them, and then realized there was a kiosk where I could just digitally check in. Out of order. Back to the line...announcement....if you think you might be missing your flight there is a check out...outside. Outside??? I go outside....at the desk, "Sorry, maam, missed your flight." 7:30am, back in line...for "special" services. Don't know how special it was, except that it had all of us who missed our flights in it...well I guess we are special aren't we. I knew already this was going to be a long day. At home it was too early to call because of the time change, so I waited...to see what would transpire before giving my hubby the details. The lady at the desk checked my bag and gave me my boarding pass (7:49am...flight leaves at 7:59am)...opps, that's right, you missed your flight. Got a few tickets for standby, guaranteed to leave at 1:59p. First standby 10am. Paid for bag, but couldn't get a connecting flight...left with bag, but forgot to get money back.

Thankfully security wasn't a problem, only 5 minutes there, even though you have to nearly strip down before you go through, and drink all your hot coffee in one sip. Now...I wait. Grabbed a hot latte, and a banana for breakfast and when the lines when through to board for the 10am flight I got on! Now, I can call my hubby...wait, I have to turn off all cell phones??? No service on the plane...plane phone not working. Are you kidding me!!!! Anxiously counting the hours that my husband would leave to pick me up as I land in Chicago and he has no idea where I am...and no cell phone (story for another blog about stubborness). Land in Chicago, finally my phone works...no answer. Now I am in a panic...call friends, they didn't get my digital texts sent from thousands of miles high. Seriously!?!? I knew by then he was on his way to pick me up around the time I would hope to catch my next flight. Tears came fast now. Who? What? How? I called Seattle airport...they hung up on me...yes, yes they did. Ralph! he lives in Seattle...of course he would help me. He would drive out and tell him that I was not on that plane and keep him and the boys company while they waited. I could finally exhale. I fell into a pile of exhausted emotions at the airport charging my phone at a community tech wall and just prayed, God hold me, this is just too much to handle. God sent me my first angel...Ralph. He assured me he would call as soon as they connected. All I had to do was wait. I just sat there trying not to make eye contact, as I did there were some concerned looks. Then it hit me...look at the departures board...rather, an angel whispered to me...go now! As I did, I realized that there was a sooner flight departed now! In the other gate! I ran without eating lunch as fast as i could and made it on standby. "Ralph, I am on my way home, should be there by 3:30p". I was supposed to be there by 11am, but it was better than the possible 7:30p. He was on his way to the airport to tell my hubby. Back in the plane...no service. Had pringles for lunch...hate my allergies sometimes. Met a wonderful elderly couple married for 40 years, they held hands and fell asleep next to me. Just like I want to grow old.

Home...by 4p. Husband waiting at the top of the escalator...more tears and a huge embrace. It's good to be home. Tried to get money back from bag...$25. No can do...maybe some emails, long wait...fine, just want to get home. OR you could just get a travel voucher. Great! Here it is for $50...thanks to Jim my other angel of the day. God was in every moment. That wasn't easy, but He was there. I would do it all over again, because I am always amazed at how God shows up, even when everything is falling apart. At the end of the day, I was with my man, the one I said to, "I do", and I hugged my boys like it had been weeks since I saw them. Ending my day with an unexpected dinner with friends was the perfect ending to a very long day.

Love of many colors

God shows me His love through rainbows, and I have needed His love even more in these last few weeks. I have needed Him to comfort me, and carry me. Everytime I water the garden, and stand in wonder and how He made everything come to life, each and every little sprout came out of the ground because this is how He willed it. I shower it with my earthly love and the water provided from my water hose, and He shines a rainbow where I spray...just another way to say He loves me too. Just yesterday my husband giddily told me he has a surprise for me, but I will have to wait until the next sunny day, which happened to be today. My wonderful man colored a large rock in the corner of our yard full of rainbow colors. It struck me as such love, and I am reminded once again by all the things I am blessed to have, my man on that list of things I thank God for...and His (Gods) wonderful world of rainbows.

Deadly Silence

How often do we keep our haunted thoughts just to ourself? We go around and around how we could have said something different, or not said anything at all, and we replay scenarios over and over again. I find myself asking questions over and over again. Did they take that the wrong way? What do they think of me? Did I ruin a perfectly good conversation? Or lose a friend? When we keep it all hidden in our hearts it only goes to destroy our thought life, and in turn how we respond to the world around us, our kids, our spouse, our friends... Wouldn't it be easier if we just brought all those fears, and all of those questions to God? We might be surprised at the answers. We might find all the no's in our head, to actually be yes's to God. I have heard that 90% of our worries are not even possibilities, and yet, we continue to worry. So, go ahead, don't be afraid, ask away, and be comforted, because you really are amazing, and you don't have to measure up to anyone...and God loves you just the way you are.

My Vinegar

Pain is hard, but I know God is teaching me through it. Even when I follow His voice, I will still have pain--but He will always be the balance that keeps the pain from penetrating deep into my heart.

I am allergic to most acidic food--okay, all acidic foods. So, I saw a tomato and even asked God if I should eat it. You get in the habit of asking questions when you've been hurt. So, I ate the tomato with some yummy sea salt, and it tasted good! But....it burned my mouth (as per normal). A perfectly good healthy food is bad for me. So, I decided to drink some red wine vinegar. I was told by my homeopath that when you balance acid with acid it balances out. I know, it sounds crazy, but it works! My mouth stopped burning, but it was not easy getting down that vinegar!

Gos showed me that sometimes things that seem like a beautiful plan aren't always the best plan. We can go ahead and do it, but we might endure pain God is like the vinegar was to me. he won't take away the pain, there might be some discomfort, in fact, there will be. But, God will balance everything out in His own perfect way.

All we need to do is to drink the vinegar so we don't let the acid take over. We will be balanced...and we will be changed--if we let Him.

Found

I am so excited to share my new song! Just a little bit of background on how this song came to be....I was thinking about a friend of mine that was going through a major life change, and I didn't know how she was doing, I just kept thinking about her and worrying about her, I just couldn't sleep. It got to a point where I got out of bed and started writing. Just as God always does, He showed up on my page, and answered my question...it's not for me to worry about, it's His problem, and it's in His hands. I immediately started praying for her and giving her totally over to God. I started to think about other areas of my life in relation to letting God have the control, and I realized that I feel most alone when I try to do it on my own. I have learned that when I allow God to catch me when I let go of all that is burdening me I finally feel Him....holding me, and I know that I am once again...Found. http://youtu.be/EPj9cxB-PVE

I love me some tools!

Up until recently, I thought only men really got excited about tools. This is not to say us women don't use the average tools around the house, just that we don't get all worked up over it, and talk about it for hours on end. Well, I have changed my stance. The last few interactions we've had with friends involved a "moving party" are a sewing collaboration. it was interesting to me at the moving party where the men found themselves...near a bunch of boxes and furniture, and where the women congregated...in the kitchen. This is not to say that women are not capable of loading furniture or moving boxes, it just tends not to be most of our preferences. Women love adventure, we love to show our strength, and we are strong. We are warrior princesses, not weak women...just had to clarify that. So, as the hours went on I continued to notice why I loved being in the kitchen scrubbing down the cabinets and using all the gadgets to get in the crevaces, and nooks. I wanted to see the beauty in them...scrub away the grime and see the beautiful robin's egg blue in all its glory. Honestly, do you think a man would care how clean a cabinet looks? I found myself marveling in it! And loving the tools to get it that way. I laughed at how we all commented on our favorite cleaning gadget and admired each other's work. We love to make things beautiful, it's what we've been designed to do.

Fast forward a week to my sewing party...I don't think many men attend these, but I know there are men who sew, and I think it's great, so I am not trying to put down either gender, just admiring our differences. I do have a husband who does laundry and dishes more than me on any given day. So, we brought our sewing machines (tool) or bobbins (tool), our thread hangers (tool) and our sewing boxes (tool box) and sewed to our heart content over tea and laughs.

So, I stand corrected, it's not only men who love their tools, we all have tools we love, we just choose to love diffent ones.

Discovery...if we take the time

My son has sensory processing disorder...which means he pretty much moving ALL the time. He is quite the little guy, full of life and a great sense of adventure. I am noticing more and more where his passions are. Just like other boys, he loves dirt, and making mud, finding worms and bugs. An interesting thing just dawned on me, the only time he stopped, is when he has made a discovery. The world comes to an abrupt stop (which isn't always convenient when we need to get things done...or we have a destination in mind) and he looks, examines, and questions the item of choice in his little hand. We can choose to take the time and see all the gifts God has given us in everyday, or we can keep moving. I do not have sensory processing disorder, but I find myself in the same situation all the time. I keep moving, keep busy, doing this and that for so and so, and getting lost in the day to day activites of life...and I am missing life! If I stopped more and took a big breath in of fresh air, or spend some time in silence or in prayer, I know I would receive even more that God has to offer me.

So, take the time...to enjoy the worms...they are, after all, facinating.

Just a little about ME

God has created us, women, as the pinacle of creation...we are at the height of beauty. He saw it, and said, it is good! I have learned in this last year how to live in that beauty. How I can change, emit His colors, the colors of the rainbow, when I dance for Him, when I worship Him, when I love others, when I am truely myself...the way that God made me.

I have been married for almost 10 years, and it's amazing the transformation that has happened in both me and my husband in these last three. We decided that we are going to have a ceremony and exchanging friendship bracelets...because more than anything we have returned to a friendship that is more deeper, and more fun loving that it has ever been in our whole marriage. I am not saying that we don't have struggles, don't we all...we are humans after all. But, now I know that when we are after each other, it's because the enemy is working to bring us down. So, I am working to be the beauty in my husband's life, so that I can lead him to the source of all beauty....Jesus, the Son of God.

So...I dance, and I soak up His love, my God's love...