Rearview Mirror

Just the other day I was looking in my rearview mirror at my two boys (now 5 and 7) singing Christmas carols (to their own words) in the  middle of January mind you. Of course, they started in July, it's a year round thing. Something about that Jingle Bell song and all it's possibilities. I had to laugh at them, and I took a mental picture of how they look now. My oldests teethless grin, my youngest bobbing head. My heart melts for love for them. I looked back and I saw the first baby seat with my first born sleeping away as an infant, or playing with his car seat toys. My husband sees me sitting there trying to soothe him, or give him his bottle. I see a second seat with you youngest, and my almost 2 year old rubbing his head with love and singing him his ABC's. I see them crying because they are too tired, too hungry and beyond themselves, and my love overflows for them. I see "blankies" and pillow pets, travel toys and Gramma squished between two large car seats. I see them listening so well as we travel across the country to settle out west, and I see them far beyond reason fighting and crying at each other, and wishing that moment would end. I see them showing me their first art project, their craft from school, or their loose tooth. I see them seeing me for the first time and showing a sense of comfort knowing that I am right there if they need me. I see so much and so many memories that I hold the photos in my mind, ones I don't want to let go of.

I've often heard, don't look back, don't let the past keep you from moving on to the future, and I only partially agree with this statement. Sometimes we can be so stuck in the past, that we relive the pain of our memories and don't move on. We continue to regret, or "beat up" on ourselves, or we grieve the final outcome. I agree, we don't want to keep living there. We can move on into freedom, if we take the past, and allow God to tell us His truth in those situations, realizing that He was there and we is offering to take the pain, to heal the unforgiveness, to hold you and tell you that you were never alone and He is still right here. If we take the past and let Him enter there, we know we can take a step forward with courage. Time doesn't heal all wounds, only God heals them. So, yes, we do need to look back, but not to stay there, to learn from there. On the other hand it is so good to remember the good things, too look back on our lives (like I have been in my rearview mirror lately) and be thankful for the moments that we have had where God has shown His blessings.

So, whether you are looking in the rearview mirror at a painful memory, or one filled with laughter and love, remember, God is there and He is also lighting the way so you don't have to figure it out or know where you are going. He'll show you, and He is in the reflection.

God's icing on the cake

I love snow! I don't like driving in it, or being behind someone who is scared to death of the fluffy little flakes, but I love to watch as rains from the sky and powders the ground as it falls. It's one more way that God shows us He loves us. White beauty and turns the picture window into a framed winter wonderland. Just to watch it lightly stick on the trees and change them white is a wonder in itself. But, God didn't just intend us to watch from our window. He created it for an adventure. Doesn't that just show how He really is, He wants us to have fun and slide down the slopes, ski through the trees and we watch our breath float away like a cloud and see the blue sky as we swish by. Our God is an adventurous God, He has so much to offer us if we just take on the challenge, the risk of putting on our coat and leaving our view at the window. I also love how each snowflake pattern is unique to its own. It's how He makes everything, including us. We are all unique snowflakes. So, even if we can't move, or slide down the slopes, just to go outside and hold out our woolen mitten and catch a wonder, we can admire His craftsmanship. My kids can't wait to go outside when it snows. My oldest will automatically start a ball and roll it around the yard to the point where all you can see is half grass and a small snowman (shorter than the 8yr. old stature he is). They giggle with delight at the 1-2 inches that fall (in the Northwest it doesn't offen accumulate). I am sure God watches us admire what He has created and chuckles at our delight. Doesn't a father love to watch his children play? I believe our God does. I hope you play today, even if not out in the snow, simply inside your heart, and open your eyes to His wonderment, whatever it might be.

Another year? Or just another day.

Every year, we come to the same place and evaluate our lives. How is the scale, how is my diet, did I exercise enough this year, am I doing what I really want to be doing with my life? Why do we ask these questions? It's not that I am trying to be cynical, I am just wondering if it's really worth it to look at ourselves if we just notice we are falling short of what we expected the following January. I don't make resolutions, it's not that I am afraid I am not going to keep them, I know I am not going to keep them...unless I resolve that I will continue to eat chocolate! I do however evaluate my life and wait in wonder to what exciting new things will happen this year. Then I have to think, how am I going to get there? It's also a time of refection and prayer, where are you leading me God? Will I be taking on too much, or not enough? Am I being the woman that you've designed me to be, or am I just "doing". I have to look at all the things that I am involved in and really ask myself, am I continuing to serve the purpose, the passion that I had in the first place, or is my purpose here done? I realized that one group that I have been involved in, so dear to my heart, has completed it's purpose, and as I look into the new year I can see that the last year has been amazing, but my time is done. It makes me wonder, does God have another purpose for me in some other way, or does he want me to take this time to just rest. Of course, I know, and those who know me, knows well that I don't "rest" much. Resting might look like only being involved in 3 groups that serve different purposes in my life, instead of 4. Either way, it's good, even if it's just a new day, that happens to be in a new year, to ask yourself the question, does my life reflect the purpose and passion that I was created to carry out? I don't think it matters if I am skinnier or less active this year than the last, although being healthy feels great, and I attain to that...but my desire is for my heart to be healthy, and my focus to be in the greater story, not the everyday. So, do you want to go workout? Or do you want to go live out. It's up to you.....every day.